the most exciting thing that has happened today is when my best friend tried to say ‘wait’ and ‘hang on’ at the same time and ended up saying ‘wang on’ and I thought about it on the way home and nearly crashed my car from laughing so hard
*bastille voice* how am i gonna be an optimist about this
well if you close your eyes
sirius black? dead? hahahahaha what are you talking about. keep ur weird au’s away from me
mom: so… why is he your favorite?
me: [cracks knuckles]
me: [turns lights off]
me: [sets up projector]
me: [opens powerpoint]
me: allow me to tell you a thing
women: being a woman is hard
men: I thikn youre forgetting something: it is also hard to be a man. just letting you know that you forgot to mention that when you were talking about being a woman
my greatest dream is to swim in an ocean of orange soda. it is a fanta sea.